How do you get your teenagers to pick up after themselves?

My kids are 16 and 12. I am so sick of them leaving stuff laying around the house. I am thinking about putting their stuff that they don't pick up and just shoving it in their rooms and closing the door. Hopefully they will eventually pick up their rooms. I need thoughts and suggestions.How do you get your teenagers to pick up after themselves?
I have a friend who picks up the kid's stuff around the house at night, and it goes into a locked closet. If the kids want it back, they have to pay $.50 or $1. If it doesn't get bought back in a month, it gets donated to Goodwill. Her logic is that ';if they don't care enough about it to take care of it, there's no reason to have it around.'; She made a fortune the first week -- and now the closet stays mostly empty :-)





Our rule around our house is ';no sitting down to dinner until the first floor is clear.'; In other words, the family room, hall, dining room, breakfast room, living room, and kitchen counters are cleared of family members personal ';stuff';. It takes less than 5 minutes, when everyone takes their own stuff and tosses it in their room.





How do you get your teenagers to pick up after themselves?
You need to give them negative consequences that are meaningful for them when they don't pick up and some positive.meaningful consequence when they pick up. The consequences have to be something you can control and you have to be firm.





You can start out by taking away all their privileges and then start giving the privileges back, 1 by 1 when they consistently start obeying the rules.





Talking will not help, nothing will change behavior except meaningful consequences. They will whine, complain and say they hate you in order to manipulate you into giving a privilege back with no improved behavior on their side. You must be firm and be their mother, not their friend.
Rodent lover x is absolutely right. I have 4 boy's which 3 are all grown and gone. I have dealt with this numerous times. I sat them all down to get their attention and made sure they heard me clearly. I simply told them that we do not live like this and I refuse to pick up after them. I told them anything that is left around and not put back where it belongs, (this includes their bedroom) I will gather them up and give it to goodwill to someone who would respect these things. Of course they don't take you serious at first. Just do it. I didn't really send them to goodwill, , I placed them in a box in my car to make them think i did. Eventually, they will realize they have nothing and will soon start to pick up. When they learn to pick up after themselves, they earn one item back.
You apparently are not authoritarian enough. I know, you don't want to be a control freak. But there is a time when your kids have to learn what the concept of limits is. Your problem is that you let them get away with that way long ago. Now you have to deal with it.





Make some rules. Don't let them get away with it. They are not adults yet and must rely on you for their shelter and food etc.. Have you told them to pick up their belongings and put them away? You don't mention that or any resistance to this from them to that idea. Have you tried? If not, tell them.





If they rebel, put restrictions on them. Punish them. In the real world, if they take these habits with them and try to push people around with their selfish habits, they will pay for it. They have to grow up and take responsibility for their actions. Try restricting what they like the most if they don't follow your rules. If you can't control them, I would say you let them get away with these things far too long. Sorry.






Have you tried just asking them to pick up their stuff? I think often times they just don't realize how much they leave lying around. You may wonder how they could not notice, but I honestly don't think they pay attention unless you point it out. Asking usually worked for me. If not, I did what you suggested - just put their stuff in their rooms.





Now two of my three have left home, and there are times when I think my house is too clean. I miss those signs of their presence; it's so empty. When my son comes home from college and dumps his bags in the living room, I actually look at them and smile, and I think to myself ';he's here!';
I am 14 i leave my stuff everywhere and have a really undtidy room my mum shouts at me and goes on and on at me so now i just think what the hell am not having an argument and i tidy it up.





So each time they leave something make sure they pick it up even fall out with them and then if they ask to go out with there friends and teh room is still am mess say no until the room is tidy thats what ma mum did and i soon started doing it lol



Do not pick up a single thing that they have left out. That's what they're hoping you'll do. They want to continue to think of you as their faithful servant.





Put locks on their bedroom doors that lock from the outside. Lock their doors while they're out of the room. Deny them access to their little sanctuaries until they have picked up and put away EVERYTHING. Disregard howling, weeping, and profanity. Repeat as often as necessary.





I personally hate being forced to go through every pocket on every piece of clothing, looking for gum, candy, etc. before I'm able to do a simple load of laundry. So I have let it be known that if I find any money in the pockets, I am going to consider it as financial compensation for all my trouble.
I have a 15 and 13 year old. My 15 year old is good about keeping her room clean and thats it. I used to, a few years ago, be able to get her to help. Now..nothing. If I tell her to do it, she usually does however. Most of the time. My 13 year old..it doesnt matter. I could tell her I'm gonna feed her stuff to the garbage disposal and it does not help. I tried telling her I'd throw her stuff away. That didnt help either. If you get an answer that works. Let me know.
one of the things that worked for me was a got a huge tucker tote and whenever i woulfd find things laying around the house i would put it in the tote no matter what it was.it saved me from having to put it away and they would get frustrated looking through the tote ecspecialy if it was some thing little.
Really hard to answer as if you don't do it, they will eventually run short of clean clothes and report you to Child Protection for abuse...


I tried that with my slob of a partner (aged 36) and he can only threaten to leave me every time. He calls it abuse too.
tell them if anything else is left on the floor, it'll be thrown away, and throw it away if they do ! (or if u dnt want 2 throw things away put it in a box in your room and lock it!
My theory is that if it's left lying around then it must either be unimportant or be a gift to me for being a wonderful mother =) . So, if I find it I keep it. I put it in a box and the box is in a secret location -- depending on the age of the child the item belongs to determines whether you pay me to get it back or you ';earn'; it back through completing a task around the house.





I have laundry rules as well - I have 4 children living at home, and I do laundry every single day. The hampers is located at the top of the second floor stairs, which means you have to pass it to get out of the house. You get one ';freebie'; day - which means if you forget to put your clothes in there for one day, you can put two days worth in on the following day. If you forget on the second day - you're SOL! You have to do your own laundry until you are caught up, and then you can go back to putting it in the hamper. I'm a mom, not a house slave.





The bedrooms are the biggest battle ground. So the rule is simple - you have until Sunday at 5pm to have your room cleaned for the week. (Dusted, vacuumed, picked up.) If at Sunday at 5 your room isn't done - then Dad and I will clean it for you......with industrial size black trash bags, and we are not really that picky about what goes in that bag. (We have cleaned each room about one time -- they really don't want us back in there again lol)





As for the common areas of the house - each child has a designated task. You can do that task at any time during the week - but you cannot leave the house for weekend activities until it is done. So if you want to go out on Friday - then it better be done before then, because if it's not....you're not going anywhere.





The key is consistency. Sooner or later they get the hint. If the rules are laid out simply and concisely they know their expecations and can blame no one but themselves if they fail to meet them.





My one friend swore up and down that she ';could not get her daughter to help around the house';. The reason her daughter didn't do the things that were asked of her was because there were no consequences for her not completing them. Kids need to know that there are logical consequences for their actions.