Whether you bring them up against it or for it, when the decision is theirs they're going to do whatever they feel like doing. I'd rather just teach them about sex so that I know they're safe.
What are your views?How can we stop our teenagers from having sex?
I'm a fifteen year old currently having sex. I have been since I was almost fourteen. I'm not a ****, in fact, I am on homecoming court. I do it because everyone else at my school does it. Oh, and my school isn't a ghetto, trashy school AT ALL. It's a private all girl's school.
My parents never told me much about sex, but I wish they did. Although they couldn't prevent me from having it, I wish they told me all about it and just taught me the importance of safe sex. I had to get all the info I could out of my girlfriends and the internet.
So please parents, talk to your kids about sex, and even if they end up doing it and you don't support it before a certain age, be relieved that they did it a smart way.
Sex is growing in kids because it's a natural thing, so instead of trying to prevent it by not informing them, TALK TO THEM.How can we stop our teenagers from having sex?
WeLl I am Juz 14 ND i HaV haD sEx lYk 6 tyMEs mY pArEnTz tOUgHT mE aLl BOut SeX WeN i WuZ 13 So U sHOulD jUZ tAlk To UR cHilDrEn BoUT it =]
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We need to educate them before they become teenagers. Starting with around 1st grade or so start teaching them about the sexual organs and unwanted touching of those areas by others. Make sure they know about telling a parent/teacher about this behavior no matter who does it.
Around 4th or 5th grade we need to reinforce these values and start getting into details about sexual gratification by self and others and safe sex practices. Details about the effects of pregnancy on the body and mental effects of raising a child when still a child. The long term effects of such as the fact that most will drop out of school and be forced to work menial jobs with little pay. The struggle to raise such kids to learn from your mistakes and such.
Around 8th or 9th grade again re-emphasize the previous lessons and expound on the sexual act again. Safe sex and the abstance policy both should be taught so that they know about the alternatives. For those that take the safe sex route education on obtaining birth control pills for females or condoms for males and females. The more you know about sex and the effects means that they will be able to think about it and the results of such practices.
Along with this the parents should be also educated on how to reinforce these ideas at the home. This way the children will know that the parents and teachers are worried about their safety and education about sexual practices.
You're exactly right that teenagers are going to do whatever they want to do. As the parent/gaurdian it's your job to teach them to make decisions for themselve. Sometimes they will be bad decisions and they will have to deal with the outcomes of those bad decisions. But that's life. The most important thing you can do as a parent is teach your teenager like the young adult that they are, not like child who can't make decisions for themselves, and tell them your concerns. Why you wish they would wait for sex, the importance of protection, and don't be afraid to find a limetime TV show or some other form of actual circumstances where the outcomes of having sex at such an early age can lead to things like Babies and STD's. My parents showed me pictures of different types of STD's and then told me how common they were.
Neutering seems to work well on pets, I don't see what all the fuss is about trying it on children. Bob Barker says it all the time, ';Spay and Neuter your pets.'; The surgery involved is very safe, and is usually reversible, that way you can decide when to give your offspring the right to reproduce (in some cases this may never happen).
Otherwise you can lock them in your basement for a few years. Feeding them rat feces and sewage water. Beating is also a viable alternative, it's cheap and you can blame their teachers when the social workers arrive.
Parents have been trying to prevent teenagers from having sex for a long, long time. They have tried scare tactics (depending on views) from 'burning in hell' to the most logical - STDs - to seemingly no avail. Think back to when you were a teenager and were overwhelmingly curious about something. Sure your parent's advice rang in your head the entire time you defied them, but the curiosity still remained and it is human nature to explore that curiosity. The best thing parents can do is to prepare the child, I'm not condoning, with as much information as possible and hope they keep it safe. :o)
there's actually quite a lot you can do - you can discuss it openly, making it clear that it is unacceptable. And you can say why you think so. Most of my children's friends seem to sleep with boys when they are drunk, too, or desperate to have a boyfriend. so the issue has to be addressed from a parental point of view - your child should have a high enough sense of self esteem to be able to resist this pressure. The example you give your children should be one that supports your viewpoints - do not drink to excess, for example, and only hae sex in stable relatinships.
Another angle is the media - talk to your children about the portrayal of sex in our modern society.
You can't stop your children having sex, but you can bring them up properly, you can provide them with a stable homelife and you can teach them morals and standards.
You can't stop them....all you can do is educate them about abstinence and encourage them to practice it as well as educating them about the consequences of of sex. As parents you can also protect them should they choose to have sex. Get your daughter's on birth control and teach both sons and daughters where to buy condoms.
Sex is not teenagers as the consequences can be dire...I don't care what people say about sex beng natural. Sex is actually meant for reproduction and unless you are with someone you love and want to reproduce with (and old enough to do this) then fine.
HI
Looks like you have already decided that your children are going to have sex, that's a shame, because you are sending out signals already to them.
I agree about talking about sex to all your children, but would go very strongly on the feelings more that are involved with it.
Answer as many questions as you can to them, always be open and approachable, and make it very clear you would be furious if you ever found out they were ever indulging in sex for sex sake without love.
At the end of the day they will all make there own minds up when they feel its right for them, so drop the negative attitude, and give them a bit more common sense than you are
Just talking about sex to them will not make them safe
You can't stop them from having sex (and in my opinion it's cruel and selfish to try to do so) unless you lock them up or lock them in medieval chastity belts. They have sex drives the same as any adult, only 2-3 times more powerful, and it's 100% natural for them to want to have sex. The best you can do is give them the information they need to protect themselves against the likelihood of pregnancy or catching an STD. So I agree with you.
My personal opinion is that we should have a holiday for all girls who turn 13 -- they become women and start on birth control.
This would not 100% eliminate teen pregnancy but it would help a lot. All of mother nature tells a teens body to do it- its not just advertisements and such. Their body is ready -- their minds may not be but the body is. That is essentially why we have these problems. For many generations women married and had children young -- now we want them to stop doing that but their bodies havent heard the message. That natural desire for sex is much stronger than any amount of parental nagging, educational information, societies views or anything else. All we can do is protect them from the worst of the ills that come with sexual activity.
you really cant tell them they can't have sex, if they want to do it they'll do it, teaching them sex is wrong or telling them horror stories can cause intimacy problems when theyre older and cause problems of their own with sex, the best thing you can do is teach them about safe sex and let them know you're there for them
you could always give thema lesson on STDs though if you wana scare them off sleepin around
just teach them good morals
sex is natural and everybody is going to have sex at some point in there lives. yes younger people are having sex at a lot younger ages but that's just the 21st century and people need to accept it.
everybody is teaching us about the ST-Is, the contraception, the pregnancy's etc. but nobody is teaching us the other things such at the emotional things which happen in your head after sex.
get over it. you say your a mum of 5, your children are going to have sex, weather u like it or not.
Domme me said everything that needs saying.
A lot of schools now only teach abstinence as the solution to not getting pregnant or catching an STD - which is no good. As you've said, teenagers are going to have sex anyway, so that at least need to be taught how to use contraceptives.
I know when my daughter is older I will be teaching her about contraceptives and how to use them properly, rather than abstinence.
Our children will all have sex one day or another, so that part is inevitable. But it is our responsibility as parents to give them the proper information regarding sex and to guide them properly in life. I am hoping to raise my daughter to respect herself and her body and I will always let her know that she can talk to me about anything including sex and I will bring it up to her when she reaches that age because I want her to just be careful and I want to make sure she isn'T doing it for the wrong reasons. ( such as peer pressure )
In today's society, you cannot stop a teenager from having sex. Aside from homeschooling them and never letting them see the light of day til they are 18.
You can teach them, scare them, etc.... but a teenager is just that; A TEENAGER. And with most teenagers, they are rebellious and once they have their mind-set on doing something, they are going to do it.
All you can really do is talk to them about safe sex and how to protect themselves. So, In hindsight, my view is somewhat similar to yours.
You cant. Simple. If you tell them not to they will do it to resent you, if you tell them its ok they will because they can.
All parents can do is teach their children how to have sex safely, to make sure they truly understand how to use condoms and the pill to ensure that it is talked about openly and without fear of ridicule. There is no point with those parents who say ' i FORBID you to have sex' its never going to work. Making sure you have a good relationship with your children is the only way to make a difference
Well this is a very good question. My parents used to hold ';Sex Parties'; when I was 15 years old. Usually I would partner up with 3-4 different girls and get experienced. My parents would watch to make sure everyone was doing it right and even sometimes my dad would get involved while my mom videotaped. This was so we could watch it later so my parents could correct me and show me what I was doing wrong.
I hope that helps but it is the best way to approach this.
All we can do as parents is give them the correct information and counsel them on waiting until they complete school and are ready. Give them information about sex and using birth control when they do start having sex and pray for them daily that God will give them conviction to honor his word and wait until marriage before having sex. We as parents need to supervise even our teens to not give them an opportunity to have sex.
you cant stop your teenagers from having sex.
it's a thing everybody does when their ready to do it :),
im sure if you just sit them down and talk to them about how safe it is, and dangerous is it then im sure they'll take things into consideration.
tell them that your going to be there for them when their ready to tell you, and talk to you about things.
it's a thing all mums have to do.
x
I have teenage sisters and I constantly tell them to wait until they're ready etc etc but if they must, then at least be safe.
I think if they're going to do it, they will. We should give them plenty of reasons why they shouldn't do it but make sure they are well informed in sex ed so that they know to do it safely.
you cant stop them so just make sure they do it safe
maybe keep giving them a good supply of condoms in their drawers beside bed
take your daughter to the doctor and get them on the pill or patch
keep going on about safe sex and maybe look up the net and get pics of STIs really put em off doing it without a condom
You can't totally stop someone from having sex. You should let them know while they're still young the responsibilities and things that come along with having sex. If they reach the age where they feel you are ready, then they're going to do it. If/when they do the right things to protect then whether a boy or girl.
We can't. The best we can hope for is to teach teach them to have enough respect for their bodies that they will use birth control and be wise about who they share themselves with.
if you say anything at all, though it seems as if you are 'judging' which is a catch all phrase that i think means myob, But we still expect you to treat us like kids and pay for everything. in other words do not hold us accountable for our actions.
THAT attitude makes me mad.
Honestly, if you have any brain cells you would consider the consequences of your actions, and use more than 1 form of protection, seemingly though most of the STD trading and conception happens when one or both of the couple were drunk etc.
Responsible drinking would curb this 'epidemic', but do we really have to be playing spot the brain cell when its a concience decision of theirs not to use protection?
i dont think you can stop them all you can do is educate and make sure they are practising safe sex,id rather my daughter tell me she was thinking of having sex so i could help her protect herself than her go and do it behind my back anyway and get in all sorts of trouble.im very open with my daughter so hope she feels she can tell me when she thinks the time is right.
We can't stop them and we never will. Sex is one of the most basic instincts that humans past puberty have, and the best way to handle it is to educate them and be open with them. Abstinence Only does NOT work!! There's not coincidence that states with this AO policy also have a problem with teen pregnancies.
Best prepare them for the inevitable. But don't miss out on the lecture about virginity and chastity.
We are parents, and we can't help ourselves to fuss about the kids. Stop and listen for awhile. We can't protect them from the world nor can we keep them forever. The kids are growing and years are passing by. Be there for them when they need us to nurture them, to guide them...to love them no matter what...Peace!
Thats the best way.i have 4 girls which worry me,3 in their teens but i found by telling them about sex,sti's,contraceptions etc and that i can trust them to do the right thing,they have been very sensible about it,my 17 yr old daughter even goes for her free condoms from the clinic at the doctors even though shes on the pill.i feel really proud of them x
Well i don't think we can stop them but make sure they get talked to about safety and aware of the things that can happen...Most parents don't even talk about it and that is the worst way to go about it, teens are going to find out about it one way or another, so SPEAK UP...
First of all, educate them on this. That is the most important thing you can do. Educate them on the consequences of sex. Teach them that there is a lot more to life than sex and also teach them to do it when they are ready to. The body is a temple, treat it that way.
Abstinence is the only appropriate solution. The decision is not ';theirs'; it's yours as a parent.
You control their lives, you control where they go until they're adults.
If they're screwing around it's yours and only your fault.
The good news is you can do something about it, don't let them go out with their friends. Constantly remind them no one likes a ';****'; like these other teen girls answering your question, and remind them of the benefits of a pure life in the service of god.
The power is yours.
